6 Ways to Cope While Raising Kids and Caring for Elderly Parents
The “Sandwich Generation” is the experience of caring for an elderly parent or relative while raising children. There is almost nothing more draining, stressful, emotional, and guilt-inducing. I know what it’s like because I’ve been there. It is possible to reclaim some peace and order in your life.
My Mother Fell Down Again—and My Kids Are Constantly Acting Out. Help!
If your child is:. Anxious about what’s going on in the family. Sad about the changes their grandparents/relatives are going through. Feeling ignored because your attention is diverted elsewhere. Or just plain angry and feeding off the stress in your household, acting-out behavior may occur.
1. Stop the “Screech”…and Breathe
Everyone is responding to “screech with screech,” so I tell my clients to take four deep breaths and clear their heads. Consistent, mindful breathing calms us down and ensures that our brains get the oxygen they need.
2. No More “Shoulda, Coulda, Wouldas”
It takes a lot of effort to let go of guilt, especially for those of us in the Sandwich Generation. Recognize where you might need some help or support, and don’t get caught up in the “coulda-shoulda-woulda’s” because it’s counterproductive.
3. Ask for Help…And Say “Yes” to It
If you’re raising children while also caring for an elderly or sick relative, there is help available; the key is knowing where to look for it. School social workers and guidance counselors can be helpful in locating resources and services for your child and family.
4. Include Your Child in the Family Plan
When information is kept “age appropriate,” it will reduce your child’s fear, anxiety, and acting-out behaviors. Helping others makes us feel needed and wanted.
5. The 3 R’s: Respite, Respite and Respite
Schedule “respite” into your calendar, or call someone to talk to. Home care agencies have people trained to care for your loved one, and they can provide respite so you can get out for a while.
6. Stay in Touch
Feeling isolated and alone is one of the worst parts of caring for others; if you don’t have anyone to talk to, there are many caregiver support groups in the United States near you.
How do you deal with an annoying elderly parent?
When Elderly Parents Refuse to Help: 8 Communication Strategies
- Accept the situation.
- Choose your battles.
- Don’t be too hard on yourself.
- Treat your aging parents like adults.
- Ask them to do it for the kids (or grandkids)
- Find an outlet for your feelings.
- Include them in future plans.
How can I help my elderly mother with his anger?
Even if you feel angry, fear, alarm, or anxiety, don’t show it; it will agitate the senior and escalate the situation. Speak in a calm, reassuring tone. Acknowledge the senior’s feelings and listen to what they have to say.
How do you deal with an argumentative elderly?
4 Senior Care Strategies for Dealing With Disputed Parents
- Accept the situation.
- Find a way to express your emotions.
- Treat your parents with the utmost respect.
- Look past the surface behavior.
Are you legally responsible for your elderly parents?
In the United States, requiring children to care for their elderly parents is a state-by-state issue, with some states requiring no such obligation. Currently, 27 states have filial responsibility laws, but children in Wisconsin are not legally liable for their elderly parents’ care.
How do you deal with a difficult elderly mother?
With this in mind, here are some suggestions for dealing more effectively with a difficult elderly parent.
- Be sensitive.
- Talk about your concerns without putting pressure on your parent.
- Work together to find compromises.
- Accept their decision.
- Pick your battles.
- Choose your timing.
What stage of dementia is anger?
Aggressive Behavior by Dementia Stage Anger and aggression are most likely to appear as symptoms in the middle stages of dementia, along with other concerning habits such as wandering, hoarding, and unusual compulsive behaviors.
Why is my elderly mother so angry?
Seniors throw temper tantrums for a variety of reasons, including personality changes brought on by Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia; certain prescription medications can have negative side effects or interact with one another, causing mood swings and irritability; and certain prescription medications can have negative side effects or interact with one another, causing mood swings and irritability.
Why has my elderly mother become so mean?
Physical and mental health issues that cause cognitive changes also frequently cause behavioral changes in elderly people. This is due to the loss of neurons in the brain, and how this affects an elderly person’s behavior depends on where this neuron loss occurs.
Why are the elderly so stubborn?
A senior may become stubborn for a variety of reasons, including: feeling depressed about the deaths of a spouse, friends, or family members; feeling left out of the family; and fearing that the family will place them in a nursing home.
What causes personality changes in the elderly?
Dementia, stroke, grief over the loss of a loved one, or the loss of freedom can all cause sudden personality changes in the elderly.
When should the elderly not live alone?
Frequent falls, weight loss, confusion, forgetfulness, and other issues related to illnesses causing physical and/or mental decline, such as Dementia or Alzheimer’s, are among the top 12 warning signs that your aging parents are no longer safe to live alone.
Can I get paid to look after my elderly parents?
If you provide unpaid care for your elderly parents, you may be eligible for Carer’s Allowance, a government benefit that helps people who do so. Caring for your parents can be very rewarding, but it can also put a strain on your finances.
Can I be my mom’s caregiver?
The short answer is yes, it is possible; however, because the subject is complex, the short answer is insufficient. Many factors influence whether a loved one in need of care is eligible for such assistance, and many people fail to ask whether they, as caregivers, are eligible.
What to do when siblings won’t help with elderly parents?
If your siblings refuse to help, look for help from community resources, friends, or hire a professional. Some siblings may refuse to help care for your parents or may stop helping at some point; if they aren’t willing to work on resolving the issues, it may be best to just let it go.